It's not how you start...but how you finish

It is safe to say I've reached missdle age - though some would think that I am still young - which is true. I am 44 - so if you double that, that would be 88. I think I might be correct that even with that I may have fewer years ahead of me than behind.

Medical science and all that - who knows I could live to be 120, but I'll play the averages now.

There are many people that have bad things that happen to them. A lot of us always say, Why ME? I can guarantee though that there are a lot of people going through a lot more than you, and people say that all of the time, but you are the one going through your tough time, so it is tough.

I have had my fair share of bad things, but  I have had a lot of good things happen to me as well. And let's day I just found out the biggest news of all over the last few weeks which makes it even more important.

So you still have a lot of life left, so make the best of it. Change something that you think you are doing wrong. go do something that you always said you would do - because it is not how you start - it is how you finish that makes all the difference.

I have had a shaky start to my life long dreams and goals, but with work and persistence, it really starts to pay off. Go out on top - is what I like to say.

A great example is always sports. I watch hockey, and I wen tot a playoff game one time, and the team was really struggling through the 1st period. In the 2nd period the started to skate a lot better. They were down 3-2 going into the 3rd.

The team got a lot better and was gaining confidence. With about 5 minutes left in the game, they scored the tying goal at 3-3. It was a back and forth game, and it was exhausting just watching it - I couldn't even imagine playing in it.

The game before the other team one in overtime, so this team really didn't want to go to overtime, but it was great that they at least could do that if need be. With .3 seconds, yes, POINT 3 seconds left in the game the team scored the winning goal. In game 7 of that play off series - down 1 goal with less than a minute, the team scored the tying goal, and on the ensuing faceoff scored the winning goal with 30 seconds left to win the series and move to the next round. Amazing...

You may not win all of them, but never give up on the game....you never know what will happen next - so finish strong...

Hmm - the internet - who knew this would even still be here

So I have this blog I haven't done anything on in 4 years. It is amazing that no mater what you put on the internet - it stays there. I was almost hoping that Google would get tired of me and the blog would just sort of disappear.

So anyway, I have finished the first draft of the 2nd book in my trilogy dubbed 'The Bruinduer Narrative" It is called "Kali's Regress" and is a lot darker than the last.

It deals with loss and life not being quite what we planned, and trying to save yourself. Problem is, you can't save yourself. Really only our faith can do that.

Turning 44 gets you right at the next year 45 - which starts the back nine of life. I've always thought that it is not how you start, but how you finish. There are certain universal truths that stand out as you get older - one is - you will die, and the second is - what have I done with my life?

I'll try to blog on Kali's Regress and how we finish its production. There still is a 3rd book, so that will be interesting to write.

You can get The Mahogany Door for free at Smashwords. If you join my facebook page and send me a message with you address, I'll send you a hard copy.

Tell your friends - It's a Christian Fantasy book - but different than ones you may have read - They are long - and very personal. They are the type of book that you need to huddle in and read - It is not the quick books of today, but more of a throwback to the classics when TV wasn't around and attention spans were more than a few sound bites.  OK - I should be humble and I am - I am just grateful that you took the time to read this.

Mark

 

PLACE and books I've read

I am not a very good blogger.

I think I will be the first one to say that. In actuality, I find it hard for anyone to find what I write about important - really.

I will say that I do have an opinion, but you know what folks say about opinions. I guess I can sit here and write stuff and maybe if you are reading it you might find it interesting.

I am what some call an indie author, though I know the book I published is anything but. I can honestly say that I spent more on my book than a lot of big name publishers would spend on their author's books - my only issue has been distribution and marketing, all of which I have limited resources and time (especially after what I spent on the book).

Like a lot of folks, I hope an agent might pick me up one day, but rejection time and time again has been daunting to say the least, which brings me to the stuff I have been reading from my fellow, 'indie authors.'

There is no doubt that there are talented writers out there. I have read some really good stuff, but all and all the stories are missing one particular element for me. I guess that is what agents and editors are for. It begs me to think, that yes, my book may be missing that particular element as well.

The element I am talking about is a matter of place.

It has seemed to me that writers take off with the story, but give little account to where the characters are. An example, I just read a book with a great story, but I was really confused about where the story was taking place. Even if the story is fiction, historical aspects are always a plus in the story for me. If the story is a story about pirates, and it takes place in the Caribbean, then by all means I want a little history lesson about the pirates and the Caribbean. Though your story is fiction, those little historic tidbits will make your tale ring true. It also gives me a chance to put myself in the shoes of the characters. I can picture the story much more clearly.

Michael Crichton was a master at this. You can find great examples of the 'PLACE' element in his books, "The Great Train Robbery", or "Jurassic Park". They are perfect in that way (to me). It also makes what Mr. Crichton is blowing up our butts believable, even though if some of the things he says are quite impossible - at the moment anyway.

But he can stick it in your mind that what he is saying MAY BE POSSIBLE, kind of sort of, maybe, but possible.

Anyway, that is all.

"Small as a Mustard Seed" First review...ever...

Over 128 thousand Americans were killed or wounded in the Korean War between 1950 and 1953. Some do not realize that this was a mere five years after over one million Americans were either killed or wounded during WWII between 1941 and 1945. If you noticed that the Korean War took place just five years after WWII – it is an amazing statistic. As America entered The Vietnam War in the 1960’s and the subsequent upheaval that war caused on our society, you may understand now why the Korean War is sometimes referred to as the “forgotten war.” I am sure it is even more worthy to note that within the 128 thousand Americans wounded or killed in Korea, I am pretty sure that that number does not include the multitude of veterans who came home mentally scarred from what they witnessed on the battlefield.



In Shelli Johnson’s “As Small as Mustard Seed,” we peer into the lives of a family that must deal with a veteran afflicted with the mental wounds of the Korean War.

I would like to start by saying that the title is very dear to me. It refers to the bible verse located in the book of Matthew, chapter 17, verse 20: "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

As a veteran of the military that served during another American war, I understand fully how one’s religious core can be shaken to the root after one sees what war can do to others in this world. The first question through a lot of people’s mind is, “How can a caring, all powerful God allow this to happen to us?” I am not a theologian, and I will not preach, but I have always found comfort in that verse from the book of Matthew.

What we see in Ann Marie and her family in “Small as a Mustard Seed” is a family I believe that has lost all faith in anything, including the family unit as a whole. This is prevalent in one of the most memorable scenes in the book where the family packs up decorations after Christmas and the baby Jesus is missing from the nativity scene. The family is almost asking permission to have faith – even if it is as small as a mustard seed.

The parable of Jesus implies that a mustard plant grows over time and becomes a large bush; in fact it is the largest among herbs. In turn, if one were to have faith in context of the size of a mustard seed, that seed has the potential to grow enormously starting from such a small point. Ann Marie’s family has a hard time even getting to the point of having even a small bit of faith, much less watching it grow.

Ann Marie even states that it was not God that answered her prayers in the horse barn, but instead a dimming light bulb that saved her life from the hands of her father. It may put things into context, though is it really coincidence, or is it just a lack of seeing God act in our lives, even at the worst moment no matter how small? I think Shelli places that question perfectly, and it reverberates through the entire story.

Adele’s insistence of keeping the family together and controlling Frank’s illness within the privacy of the family only proves their inability to place faith where it needs to be focused. By placing her faith in herself, Adele manages to rip the family apart even more, and as Jolene piles on the sin of her family and sacrifices herself in a futile attempt to make things better, you can come to the conclusion that this family does not get the point of faith, religion, Jesus, or even God at all, and it leads back to the ultimate, very misunderstanding of their father’s illness.

Mental illness has always been taboo. It is still not fully understood, and treatments only treat the symptoms and are never a cure. Historically, the more rational treatments of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Schizophrenia have only been around since the 1940’s and 50’s, and are still improving over time. So in milieu, Frank showing the signs of PTSD during the 60’s and into the 70’s shows a very much lack of perception. It is understandable that a family would pretend everything is ok, or wishing it will just disappear, dealing with the illness internally – especially since they live in a small town, and everyone talks about everything.

“Small as a Mustard Seed,” in my opinion, is an important book. It embarks on shedding light on a very prevalent illness, especially since there are thousands of Americans coming back from war even as I type, and I am sure no doubt may carry some of the same demons Frank does. It also points out the misunderstanding of where faith lies in our lives and the real point of why we suffer.

What I also appreciated with Shelli is that she writes to a certain point and doesn’t leap over a line that a lot of authors would. Her dramatic scenes are dramatic, but they do not leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. After reading the book, I especially thought that young adults and even teenagers would learn a lot from this story.

One thing that I would have really liked Shelli to have done is put a little more historical background in the novel. Artistically, I can see that what was happening to the family was happening to the family and any outside storyline might hamper on her tale. She is definitely trying to isolate these people as much as possible. I don’t see this as a problem though. If more of the historical background and context was encompassed in the book, this may have become the dark side of Forrest Gump. In hindsight it is Ann Marie’s thoughts about her family in the past, so it is understandable from a practical point that she would not bring up anything happening on the outside. I missed some of the historical telling that would have brought more insight to the family’s plight on a larger scale. I guess I am a sucker for Michael Crichton’s “The Great Train Robbery” in that sense.

“Small as a Mustard Seed” is solidly written and very descriptive. I enjoyed this book a lot, and yes I got choked up a couple of times. Again, as a veteran I am very thankful to artists who tackle on such difficult subjects that affect the lives of servicemen and servicewomen.

Will Ann Marie or her family find what they are looking for? You'll have to read to find out.

5 out of 5

If you are a veteran or someone you know is a veteran and suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, please contact your local VA, or go to http://www.ptsd.va.gov/ to seek assistance. You are not alone, and your family is not either.

"Small as a Mustard Seed" by Shelli Johnson

Click to buy the eBook here: Small as a Mustard Seed

or at the iBooks store.

If you are an independent author and would like an honest review of your book, let me know. I will be happy to purchase your eBook and post the review on my blog. I am a programmer by day, and writer of Christian fantasy for kids 10 and up. My book is called "The Mahogany Door" and can be purchased where most eBooks can be bought. It also has an original music soundtrack that can be heard here: The Mahogany Door and bought from Amazon MP3, iTunes, WalMart, or anywhere else you pick up digital music. I can be reached at JMark.Boliek@gmail.com if you would like me to review your book.

Curious

I am curious to note on why writing is not an individual endevour anymore?

The only reason I ask this question is that if it s such an individual excercise, why do so many people give out tips?

To me one gives tips to writers to write how THEY want to read a story - and what in a story makes THEM like it.

I have come to the conclusion, that while writing tips and lectures, and blah blah blah may be a good foundation - as a writer - I find them useless.

Oh - but if I don't take someone's tips and write how they want, I won't be published... That seems to contradict everything these same people say about wanting something different and edgy. It kind of makes you wonder if you are in a lose-lose situation. I tend to agree that you are.

Mark

Hmmmm.

This will never work.

Still an idiot writer

I am pretty sure no one will read this, so I guess it doesn't matter what I say. I just thought I'd jump on here and continue my promise of trying to keep a somewhat up to date blog.

I am very worried about the state of publishing and reading and writing these days. Books were pretty obscure objects once before - like when I grew up. There were and still are only a handful of real staples that I read growing up - The Cat in the Hat, Chronicles of Narnia (now it seems everyone has a 'chronicles' story), Winnie the Pooh, Grimm Fairy Tales, Where the Sidewalk Ends, and The Hardy Boys' Mysteries. Now there is just so much stuff out there, and it is hard to separate anything that is actually good.

I also think that writing has been on the decline. Every tip I read has been in the words of 'cut', 'cut', 'cut' - This to me only represents one thing - either publishers think kids are to stupid to read long stories, or publishers don't want to spend money on publishing any extra pages. It has almost become the adage - hey let's put this book out as cheaply as possible and then on to the next one.

I guess I am one who likes to see different styles in the way people write - not the one syllable, five word sentence. I like my words painted - it shows that someone has an imagination. NOT rehashing the movie - "The Running Man" and making it a book. Just read, "20000 Leagues Under the Sea" You'll then know what I am talking about.

It is pretty cool in a way to write a blog no one reads. No one cares. I do get to vent about nothing in particular. If you are out trying to be an author that anyone cares about, quit wasting your time. I also don't want to hear - I just need to write, because that's who I am. No we just have this fascination that someone is actually going to care about what we write - and I have to tell - you - no one does. Twitter is full of this - "such and such says - The Time of NeverEver is the such and such choice.." OR "Mandy Nobody has just released the Flyergate Chronicles, and it's in par with Hunger Games."

If you self publish, and you get a few kudos here and there - hold on to them, because that is all you'll get -

Why so angry you ask? I'm not - I'm just writing a blog no one reads. However, if you do come across this blog - I speaketh the truth. And you can vent along with me if you 'd like?


Yours Truly,


Mark